Tumbled & Polished

Mount Evans summit

July 24: It has been a rough go since first chemo treatment July 19. Cardiac tests during the hospital stay showed a few abnormalities. Now I get my very own cardiologist. Appointment in August and heart CT scan at some point. My back, ribs and hips hurt so bad. Gastrointestinal (GI – and I don’t mean G.I. Joe) system is all out of sorts, in every possible way. The phrase “fire in the hole”, which originated from the American miners to warn an explosion is about to occur, has a whole different meaning for me. And “today’s featured side effect, brought to you by chemotreatment.com, is a sore throat and mouth sensitivity”. Nothing tastes normal or good. Oh, and the fatigue!

July 26: Yesterday symtpoms peaked which was horrible, but today the pain at least has eased up. Eating and drinking is difficult. Sore throat, mouth sores and extreme sensivity. Can do very soft bland foods and liquids. The chemo meds that target fast growing cells (ie cancer cells), also go after normal fast growing cells. Thus the stomach, throat and mouth issues. But this too shall pass!

Possible Side Effects

Decreased white blood cells (increased risk of infection)

Decreased platelet count (increased risk of bleeding)

Decreased hemoglobin (the part of the red blood cells that carry oxygen)

Diarrhea

Hair loss

Nausea/vomiting

Fatigue

Mouth irritation or sores

Taste changes

Rash or itchy skin

Muscle or joint pain/weakness

Fluid retention

Numbness or tingling in hands and feet

Changes in liver function

Changes in kidney function

Changes in electrolyte levels and other laboratory values

Nail changes

Changes in resolve and attitude (I threw that one in)

I am being tumbled! Rocks and gems are tumbled to reveal their true beauty. The coarse, unattractive edges and exterior is roughly tumbled into a smooth, shiny and polished gem. Much like people, gems come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and facets. Much like gems, people are all special in their own unique way.

Each of us is tumbled in different ways to varying degrees. This is necessary to chip away at our exterior - ego, pride, vanity, stubborness, meanness, selfishness, unforgiveness…(it’s a long list!). So that our authentic and amazing true self can shine. Life experiences and circumstances camouflage the magnificent soul that we were created to be. But if we look with our heart and not our physical eyes, we can see the beauty beneath the rubble in ourselves and others. Let’s not be afraid to let others see who we really are, and let’s embrace each other with all our flaws, messiness, and beauty!

Shine on!!